So here we are in lockdown once again because of a high number of cases due to Covid 19. Last year when we went into lockdown the first time, I wrote about using this time to try and rekindle our love for things we used to do. Let me just say it’s been a struggle. I’ve had my ups and downs with that, sometimes I think even more downs that ups. Every time I found myself starting back, something would just bring me back down again.
Honestly, I’ve heard people say it’s as easy as riding a bike, once you start you never forget, and I’m just here to say that’s BS. Doing that thing you once loved as a child is kinda like trying to find back the spark between you and an unfaithful lover, it’s hard and you need to put in the work, you need to rebuild trust and sometimes your memories of all the wrongdoings are gonna get you pissed. This has been me trying to paint and draw again.
Painting and drawing, like many creative outlets, not only requires your time but it requires patience, two things I seem to run out of very quickly. Getting every little detail you want in an art piece is hard work, it’s one of the reasons art and design takes so long because every fine detail makes a huge difference, the average viewer might not notice it, but to creatives it’s the tiny things that really pull a piece together. I can’t tell you the number of unfinished paintings I currently have sitting down right now, because in the middle of doing it, something else comes up and breaks my concentration or I just begin to lose motivation in the middle of painting or drawing, I no longer feel it anymore. Some days it’s really difficult to not lose that motivation. In those moments the best thing I can do for myself is step away from it, because I know if I continue and I’m no longer feeling that spirit, then I’m gonna create a piece that in the long run I’m not gonna be happy with, which is going to leave me feeling worse. So sometimes stepping back is a good thing, you need to clear your headspace. I know one day I’ll finish those paintings but for now taking that much needed mental break was necessary. People underestimate just how much it takes out of a creative to do their work. Most us live with a perfectionist attitude and while in some ways it helps us a lot when producing work, other times it’s the one thing that becomes our downfall.
So far, I’ve managed to finish two drawings though, simply starting did make a difference but I did erase and start over a number of times until I got something I could work with and complete. The first day I did spend at least an hour, no kidding, an hour of just looking at my sketch book with my pens and pencils laid out. I couldn’t even make up my mind on what to draw at first. I eventually settled on a sunflower, something that I’ve drawn a lot of and would be comfortable and confident in completing. I figured start simple and that was the key. Often times in the past I started back doing something complicated or a piece that required a lot of time out of me and I think that’s how my frustration built as well, because after so long I had to get back in the groove of things and I didn’t allow myself that time. In fact, I actually put too much pressure on myself by trying something too complicated, and that added pressure made me nervous and built a lot of self-doubt in my head. So start simple, whether it’s drawing, painting, sculpting, cooking, anything, after a long time don’t expect to become a master in an instant.
It’s important you allow yourself to make mistakes. While starting back drawing, every time I made a mistake the temptation to rip the paper out and throw it in the trash was high, but instead I took a deep breath, calmed myself, and simply picked up an eraser and just started over. I know this can’t work for every creative outlet, like cooking for example, if you accidentally put too much salt you might have to throw away the mix and start over, and I understand that will be a greater loss than just time, it’s ingredients and money, and while it may seem hard, even then don’t beat yourself up. You’re human and making mistakes is a part of that, I think one of the greatest things creatives have to learn is to stop hating ourselves for mistakes, we have to learn to accept them, learn from them and move on. I know it’s easier said than done, but I believe with practice we can learn to improve our mindset when it comes to mistakes. Which in turn I believe will improve things in our life in general, improving our outlook will help overall.
I know one of the hardest things when starting is to find the motivation, and I’m here to say it’s okay to look for support. I’m lucky enough to have people in my life who have been encouraging me in starting back and pushing me as well. Like in doing anything it’s okay to ask for help and support. There’s nothing wrong with also looking for ways to start back if it’s tutorials or forums, talking with other creatives, maybe looking through some Instagram feeds to get encouragement as well as ideas. There is no wrong way to start back, however you get your motivation to.
In the midst of starting back, don’t compare yourself to others. That’s one thing that will not only demotivate you but you’ll be too hard on yourself with getting it right. Everyone is on different levels and when starting back, like I said, it might not be perfect and you might make some mistakes, but remember that’s normal. But don’t think it’s going to be this amazing piece like those you see online instantly, with practice and getting back in the hang of things you’ll get there, but don’t compare your progress to others, everyone moves at their own pace, and so do you. You will improve and get better just give yourself time.
I know in these times it’s hard for us to find motivation to do a lot of things, most of us are suffering from burn out from our jobs alone, add on the struggles from lockdown and the pressure of making ends meet. But in a way I think that’s why we need to find ways to help keep us relaxed and calm and our hobbies often help us in this. It’ll help us keep a bit of our sanity while we’re going through all of these days ridden with turmoil in our lives. It gives us a safe space and outlet to release our frustration or to give us a healthy distraction for a while to get a peace of mind.